Guardian All Ears 30th January

Coming from a home town where street drinking is somewhat of an ancient tradition I rather warmed to this week's column...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/jan/30/clubs-michael-holden-all-ears

(Article by Michael Holden)
No matter what our circumstances, we are always alert to the notion that someone might be encroaching on them. I was in the library, sharing a table with two men who use the place to keep warm, when they began talking about a group of eastern European men whose attempts to use the facility for similar purposes had begun to cause friction with the indigenous community of no fixed abode.

Man 1 (looking across at the other table) "They're drinking again."

Man 2 (following his gaze but less intently) "Oh, aye."

Man 1 "They're gonna get us all kicked out."

Man 2 "You reckon?"

Man 1 "They don't take care of themselves. I see 'em on the streets; they'll drink till one of them falls over. Then they have to go to hospital. Then the others'll come and visit. You know what happens then?"

Man 2 "What?"

Man 1 "That stuff they have on the wards, the MRSA handwash? They nick that and drink it."

Man 2 "That'll fuck you up."

Man 1 "Cranial bleeding, haemorrhage. That said, it's not too different from your white cider; that's never been near an apple, you know that?"

Man 2 (sensing he was being chastised) "Yeah, I am aware of all that."

Man 1 "So that's the cycle: hospital, handwash, back into hospital again. And who do you think's paying for it?"

Man 2 (smiling) "When did you last pay any taxes?"

Man 1 (ignoring that inquiry and returning to his theme) "They're gonna get us all kicked out if they're not careful."