Had decided to do some serious research into expensive pram / buggy one-upmanship (see Stoke Newington or similar where Bugaboo jousting is almost an olympic sport) but went for the feeble pun instead...Pramalot anybody? (I know, I know,)
(Original article here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/apr/24/michael-holden-all-ears)
(Article by Michael Holden)
Eating lunch at an outside table I was distracted by the intensity of
a woman’s voice nearby. I turned to see she was sat just along from
me, and had recognised an acquaintance of hers who was pushing a pram.
Woman 1 (as though the child were on fire) “Your baby!”
Woman 2 (proud, but nonetheless alarmed at the intensity of her
friend’s exclamation) “This is Sammy.”
Woman 1 (no less shrill) “Your baby has the cutest hair!”
I looked, and saw that the child in question boasted a sprawling mop
of curly hair.
Woman 2 (pulling at it to demonstrate its full scope) “Yes he does.”
Woman 1 (shaking her head in wonder as if present at the scene of a
miracle-as oppose to just some hair) “People must stop you all the
time.”
Woman 2 (uncertain) “Kind of…”
Woman 1 (noticing a Sesame St toy affixed to the pram) “You have Elmo!
We have Elmo too…”
Woman 2 “Sammy loves Elmo.”
The second woman’s husband appeared, he was on the phone. He hadn’t
much hair of his own. The women fussed over the child, he looked up
and down the street and then hung up reluctantly as though he knew
what was coming.
Woman 2 “This is my husband John-John, this is Susan.”
Woman 1 (without hesitation) “Your son has the most fantastic hair!”
Man (smiling weakly) “We have to get going.”
Woman 1 “I was just saying, your son’s hair…people must stop you all the time…”
Man “Yeah, well. We should really get going.”
Woman 1 “I wish I had my camera.”
Woman 2 (manoeuvring the pram away) “It was good to see you again.”
As they left the other woman’s face fell, as if having seen the hair
messiah, the remainder of existence seemed both bald and long.
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