The Kirk Douglas picture is very small - but hopefully well formed! Couldn't resist the can of 'Wifebeater' or the circle of shame!
On a train just pulling out of the station I watched as a couple with a young kid collapsed into the seats across from me. Their joy at having made it was amplified by their amazement at finding seats together across a table and while the mum opened a magazine the father celebrated with a bottle of lager.
Child: “What’s that?”
Man: “It’s for me to drink?”
Child: “Is it a beer?”
Man: “That’s exactly what it is.”
The kid tired of its enquiries and stared out the window while the man looked up and down the carriage in admiration.
Man: (to no-one) “We should have these sorts of trains on our line. Ten carriages. Smart.”
As his family had lost interest in him he pulled out some kind of digital device and started prodding it.
Man: (craving a response) “I’m being stalked on Facebook.”
Woman: (giving in) “Who by?”
Man: (sounding worried) “I don’t know the name, no idea who it is-but-he’s using the picture of young Kirk Douglas, it’s quite disconcerting.”
He handed the phone over to the woman to inspect
Man: “He’s got one friend. You could make it up.”
Woman: “How do you know it’s a man?”
Man: “Well he’s using the picture of a young Kirk Douglas so I thought…”
The woman handed him the phone back and looked at him as if to say, “enough of this, you are an idiot.”
Child: “Who’s Kirk Douglas?”
Man: “A man on the Internet.”
Woman (decisive): “Never mind.”
Article by Micheal Holden
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