Thursday, 5 February 2009
Bluenote NYC 6th Jan 2009
Assortment of sketches from a Bill Frisell, Ron Carter, Paul Motian gig at the Bluenote in New York & an assortment of takes on a rather 'excitable' punter who was eventually removed... 'don't tell ME what the fucking Bluenote is all about!' - priceless!
(Pity we got possibly the worst service in New York city @ the Bluenote!)
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Guardian All Ears 31st January
Drawing this brought back memories of 'The Tin Drum' by Günther Grass where the mother, traumatised by a fishing incident involving a horses head & numerous eels, gorges herself on fish for two weeks & dies.
As a bit of a fish-phobic this has always struck me as a distinctly unpleasant mode of death - I'm hoping to be crushed & killed instantly by a falling piano (which I have failed to observe because it's 6 in the morning, I'm 90 years old & emerging from a really stunning party...
(Article by Michael Holden)
I was having breakfast in a café next to a couple of men who were eating together but reading quietly from separate newspapers until one of them begun unprompted to assess the pitfalls of cohabitation.
Man 1 (putting down his paper and looking at his food - a kipper) “You can argue about anything if you’re not careful.”
Man 2 (thinking he’d missed something) “Eh?”
Man 1 “At home, it’s a minefield, right?. The other day I saw a programme about the Elizabethans, it said the used to eat more fish than we do. So I said to the wife about this and she says, “Well I eat plenty of fish,” as though it was sort of an accusation, something she had to defend herself from-eating less fish than an Elzabethan.”
Man 2 “Yeah, well. Women can be like that.”
Man 1 (continuing the aquatic theme) “Yeah but I took that bait though. I’ve started having a go.”
Man 2 (confused) “About what?”
Man 1 “About who eats more fish. I said look I’ll have a kipper, like I am now, or I’ll have a roll mop, we might have fish and chips for tea.”
Man 2 “I don’t like a roll mop.”
Man 1 (ignoring him) “The point is I (+I)definitely(-I) eat more fish than her. No question. But then she says, ‘Oh I have a bit of tuna for lunch sometimes, when you’re out.’ I said ‘when am I out? I’m in all fucking day!’ Which to be fair is part of the problem-but anyway, I said, ‘are you telling me you’re putting away tuna on the sly?’ And she’s taken that the wrong way, so then it’s all about her and her weight!”
Man 2 (looking at his empty plate) “Oh dear.”
Man 1 “So then it was a proper issue, and, this I think is what you might say was ironic, I ended up taking her out for dinner.”
Man 2 “Ridiculous innit?”
Man 1 (Unrepentant) Yeah, well. She started it.
Monday, 26 January 2009
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Guardian All Ears 24th January
(Article by Michael Holden)
I was sitting in hospital, early for the earliest appointment of the day, when a couple came in-an elderly looking woman and younger man-who had taken the audacious move of turning up exactly on time and then paused for a moment to take in the queue of sickly swots that had already assembled. I’ve seen people flip out before at this but their credit they did nothing more than frown and check that they were indeed on schedule.
Woman (presumably the patient) “What’s the time?”
Man (possibly her son) “Nine. Bang on.”
He helped the woman to a seat where she sat panting, seemingly exhausted by the act of sitting down.
Man: “You want anything?”
Woman: (staring into space) “No.”
Man: “Want tea?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: (evidently pursuing the protocols of a familiar routine) “Coffee?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “No hot drink?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “Want a cold drink?”
Woman: “ No.”
Man: “Orange?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “Plain water.”
Woman: “Yeah.”
Man: “Want something to eat?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “A roll?”
Woman: No:
Man: “Crisps?”
Woman: (wildly affirmative) “Crisps! Plain!”
As he walked away she belched louder than anyone I’ve ever heard at which he turned back and smiled at her as if to say, “that’s my girl.”
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