Advent of unwanted gifts #23

Bottle of 'Nan-booze'.

Snowball?!? Everybody knows Advocaat is mainly composed of phlegm (probably) & eggs - We can mainly blame the Belgians for that!

Advent of unwanted gifts #22

'Budget' electrical goods.

Advent of unwanted gifts #21

Wall calendar. (Mayan)

Advent of unwanted gifts #20

Unfortunately timed fancy dress costume*

*& one in the eye for all you smug 'I ALWAYS buy my Xmas presents early to avoid the rush' types!

Advent of unwanted gifts #19

Ill-advised gift voucher.

Advent of unwanted gifts #18

 Inappropriate jigsaw puzzle*.


* I always hated jigsaws as a kid, they're even worse if you're without discernible limbs.

Advent of unwanted gifts #17

Hideous bling.

Advent of unwanted gifts #16

Fluffy anthropomorphic footwear.

Advent of unwanted gifts #15

Unfortunate pop culture genre-fail.

Advent of unwanted gifts #14

Anti-hypo-allergenic make up kit.*


*not tested on nice animals (or even nasty ones)

Advent of unwanted gifts #13

Over-fussy 'coffee experience delivery system'™ - destined to be used on precisely 4 occasions before thinking 'f*** this, where's that jar of Gold Blend'*

* see also; juicers, the Breville pie-maker, anything kitchen-shaped to do with George Foreman etc.

Advent of unwanted gifts #12

Dual purpose novelty Donald Trump / One Direction hairpiece.

Advent of unwanted gifts #11

Spurious kitchen gadget.

NB I have NOT made this up

Advent of unwanted gifts #10

Idiot mittens.

NB whilst finishing this the other day I sudden realised I'd unconsciously nicked the basic idea from another illustration so in fairness here's a link to that - let's call it 'homage' rather than theft huh?

Advent of unwanted gifts #9

Niche electrical goods.

Advent of unwanted gifts #8

Tangerine.*

* qv "in my day we just got a tangerine & a few nuts"(© everybody's nan.)
       

Advent of unwanted gifts #7

Well meaning charity goat gift card.

(& you wanted a f***ing iPad!)

Advent of unwanted gifts # 6

Crappy TV tie-in annual.*

*Recipe - quickly re-hash old TV scripts together add a few photos then season with a healthy dollop of contempt for the buying public.

Advent of unwanted gifts # 5

Offensive confectionery.

(shhhh...don't shoot me but I always liked coffee creams etc. - the ones everyone hates!)

Advent of unwanted gifts #4

Unfortunate socks.

(my sister & I always dreaded the 'soft parcel' at Christmas)

Advent of unwanted gifts #3

New aftershave.

Advent of unwanted gifts #2

Nice tie.

Advent of unwanted gifts #1

Xmas jumper

Reading Agency 10th birthday party

My agent Tamlyn Francis & I were lucky enough to be invited to the Reading Agency's 10th birthday celebrations at the British Library after working on illustrations for this year's Summer Reading Challenge.
Jeanette Winterson made a very impressive speech about the importance of British Libraries & what a precious resource they are. You can read more here http://readingagency.org.uk/news/blog/happy-birthday-to-us.html

(Photograph copyright Robin Mayes)

Happy 49th birthday Doctor Who!

#Geekfact: The first episode of Doctor Who was broadcast on Saturday November 23rd 1963 (even though he's supposed to be about 900-ish or something really)

Compendium of Useful Things #2 Cheese Hat™

Yep, that gnawing, yawning emptiness you feel inside will be easily dissipated by this cheese based millinery treat!*

*although there is a chance that your life IS completely empty & futile & even cheese can't help you... have a nice day!

Compendium of Useful Things #1 Cat Pants™

Cat Pants™for the more prudish pet owner

BOOO!

Happy Halloween folks! (& yes guitar geeks, she's playing a Vox Phantom of course! ; )

Hurricane catcher beastie

Beastie with ACME hurricane net™ - drawn for all my friends in NYC - that'll stop Sandy... probably...

Purple beastie

A beast with a purpose...

Fish-y

Some shark pics on a Monday morning

Pumpkins, the disappointment...

Pumpkins were always one of my big childhood disappointments. '70s Hastings seemed to be fairly bereft of them, the only ones impinging on my existence being in American picture books. Therefore I had imagined from their beautiful rich orange colour that they'd taste like an incredible magical mélange of peach, tangerine & melon or somesuch. Of course the reality was far duller...

Noir bar

Noir bar - with disembodied gangster & moll.

Posing with my Gold award

Me posing with my Gold award at the Association of Illustrators' Images 36 exhibition opening at Somerset House, October 2nd.

You can watch my winning entry here if you so wish.

(photograph by Robert Chadwick)

Monster town!

Suited & booted for a good night out!

(to be sung to the tune of Lips Inc.'s 'Funky Town' of course!)

Mouse.

Wine, women & song...

Inspired by my friend Lisa's cats Norman & Stanley during my stay in New York last week

'Anger' wins AOI Images 36 Gold award!

I was at Somerset House last night to collect the Gold New Media award at The Association of Illustrators' Images 36 awards showcasing the 'Best of British Illustration 2012' for my short film Anger a short animation I designed & directed at Picasso Pictures commissioned by Reach Out, an American

charity that supports young people with challenging issues such as anger management, drugs, bullying and teenage pregnancy. You can see the whole film here 

Very exciting to have won my second gold award - the previous was in Images 34 in 2010 for my film 'Rabbits'

The Images 36 exhibition runs from 3rd-28th October at Somerset House - free entrance - click here for  details

(big thanks to Picasso Pictures & producer Melissa Venet, the Association of Illustrators & my agents Arena Illustration)

Man eating tiger

The 'oldest joke in the book'™ brought to you from those nice folk who brought you Wet Sketchbook!

Wet sketchbook (slight return)

Chicken hatted shenanigans incorporating damp book & Tesco bag

Wet sketchbooks, cats, balloons & other stories

My sketchbook was left in a damp tent & seems to have remained irrevocably soggy

Summer Reading Challenge certificates & medal!

I finally got my certificate & medal for the Summer Reading Challenge! There's some great photos of various kids from around the countries with their certificates here!

With a risk of repeating myself, I had great fun working on this project & with everybody involved so big thanks to Damian Kelleher, designer Helen Boyle & Tamlyn Francis at Arena my agents!

Vikings!

Have been drawing Vikings today, well aware that horned helmets were almost certainly a historical fabrication (see also 'Raquel Welch & pterodactyls' & 'Margaret Thatcher & compassionate nature' etc.) but they're such fun to draw! To blazes with historical accuracy I say!

Hairball of Horror!

Just received this through the post I was commissioned to re-cover the Space Mutts series of books by Michael Broad published by Macmillan a while back so I designed the main text & drew the mean cats, bewildered poodle & the eponymous hairball(!)

Note to publishers - it really keeps a humble illustrator happy if you actually send copies of the books / magazines we've illustrated to us - unfortunately there's plenty of you out there who don't bother (you KNOW who you are!) - it's really nice to have the actual book in your hot little hands!

Sore rabbit

Part of a series of sick animals ( see also 'The collar of shame™' )

The collar of shame™

poor kitty : (

Cats & dogs

A (fighting) cat & dog rescued from a sketchbook left in a tent in a rainstorm - there is a moral here somewhere re. camping & illustration...probably. A memento of a particularly British summer.

sleeping dogs doing what they do best...

Drawing a new book full of dogs, here's one of 'em for your canine delectation.

Hot Dogs

Mmmmm... some tasty new seaside-based work served with a healthy dollop of sauce 'n' pomade

(click to view closer as usual)

(not many animals were harmed in the process)

(honest...)

Monkey Theremin (niche publications we have loved)

I love a specialist publication me! (apparently if you give an infinite amount of monkeys theremins eventually they'll compose all of Beethoven's...oh wait, that's typewriters & Shakespeare isn't it?)

See also Zombie Arcade, Victorian Authoritarian