Wednesday, 10 April 2019
Friday, 12 January 2018
Tuesday, 8 November 2016
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Wednesday, 27 May 2015
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Thursday, 20 March 2014
Thursday, 19 September 2013
Mudlark enabling you to mix & match components / drivers etc. & design your vehicle of choice.
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
i.e. it's difficult to update your Facebook status if you don't want the enemy finding out about your sandwich of choice etc.
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Thursday, 6 December 2012
*Recipe - quickly re-hash old TV scripts together add a few photos then season with a healthy dollop of contempt for the buying public.
Monday, 29 October 2012
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
(& don't get me started on ducks!)
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Having been brought up at the seaside I know everything about fish & chips - FACT!
Read the article here
(article by Michael Holden)
The good fish and chip shop near me is and always has been run by a couple of contrasting dispositions, which, as they get older, seem ever more pronounced. She grows more talkative, while he becomes more contemplative, staring hard into the fryer, eyes on some unknown horizon. A look I call "thousand cod stare". He was doing this again the last time I went in, and then eventually he spoke.
Him "I wish I was somewhere hot."
Me (facetious, going for the cheap joke) "It's hot in here!"
Him (wearily) "I mean a country."
Me (busted) "I know, I know. You been on holiday?"
Him (getting into his stride, making his own joke) "I got something mapped out. Can't take the wife, though. What about you?"
Me "I was in Egypt in February."
Her (like I deserved to go away more often) "That was a long time ago."
Me "It was warm, though."
Her (having none of it) "But you come back and it's cold."
Me "It was cold before I went."
Him "You like it?"
Me (wanting to sound clever) "I like all that part of the world, you can see why they're always fighting over it."
He gazed into the boiling fat and then scooped out my dinner.
Him (with resignation, as though explaining great truths to an imbecile) "But the problem is: the big fish eats the little fish."
Me (words leaving mouth of their own accord) "Mostly, yeah. I suppose. I dunno."
His wife handed me my fish and he looked at me as if to say, "You just don't get it, do you?" And I'm still not altogether sure that I do.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Drawing this brought back memories of 'The Tin Drum' by Günther Grass where the mother, traumatised by a fishing incident involving a horses head & numerous eels, gorges herself on fish for two weeks & dies.
As a bit of a fish-phobic this has always struck me as a distinctly unpleasant mode of death - I'm hoping to be crushed & killed instantly by a falling piano (which I have failed to observe because it's 6 in the morning, I'm 90 years old & emerging from a really stunning party...
(Article by Michael Holden)
I was having breakfast in a café next to a couple of men who were eating together but reading quietly from separate newspapers until one of them begun unprompted to assess the pitfalls of cohabitation.
Man 1 (putting down his paper and looking at his food - a kipper) “You can argue about anything if you’re not careful.”
Man 2 (thinking he’d missed something) “Eh?”
Man 1 “At home, it’s a minefield, right?. The other day I saw a programme about the Elizabethans, it said the used to eat more fish than we do. So I said to the wife about this and she says, “Well I eat plenty of fish,” as though it was sort of an accusation, something she had to defend herself from-eating less fish than an Elzabethan.”
Man 2 “Yeah, well. Women can be like that.”
Man 1 (continuing the aquatic theme) “Yeah but I took that bait though. I’ve started having a go.”
Man 2 (confused) “About what?”
Man 1 “About who eats more fish. I said look I’ll have a kipper, like I am now, or I’ll have a roll mop, we might have fish and chips for tea.”
Man 2 “I don’t like a roll mop.”
Man 1 (ignoring him) “The point is I (+I)definitely(-I) eat more fish than her. No question. But then she says, ‘Oh I have a bit of tuna for lunch sometimes, when you’re out.’ I said ‘when am I out? I’m in all fucking day!’ Which to be fair is part of the problem-but anyway, I said, ‘are you telling me you’re putting away tuna on the sly?’ And she’s taken that the wrong way, so then it’s all about her and her weight!”
Man 2 (looking at his empty plate) “Oh dear.”
Man 1 “So then it was a proper issue, and, this I think is what you might say was ironic, I ended up taking her out for dinner.”
Man 2 “Ridiculous innit?”
Man 1 (Unrepentant) Yeah, well. She started it.