RIP Leonard Cohen

Bird on a wire

(© 'extremely-literal-illustrative-tributes.com' )

RIP Leonard Cohen

President Trump

“When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” 

...I'm just leaving this here, drawn swiftly in a moment of extreme distaste yesterday morning.

Trump Fish!

A 'bottom feeder' if ever I saw one!

Aidan Abet - Teacher's Pet

The very funny 'Aidan Abet Teacher's Pet' by award winning author Guy Bass & illustrated by me is published today by Barrington Stoke.

I enjoyed working on this immensely & always great to get to grips with a really nasty villain, the sinister Miss Vowel (& I always love a bear in glasses!)

You can get your grubby mitts on it here or even better, get off the interweb & go to your local independent bookshop & buy it there (that's ALWAYS more fun!)

'Aidan Abet loves to help the teacher. It makes him popular with the teachers but very unpopular with everyone else. But when substitute Miss Vowel strides into school with a rather unusual mini-zoo, Aidan has a choice to make – he can listen to the animals, or he can become the Ultimate Teacher’s Pet.'

Death by Marmite!

You wondered where all the Marmite went huh? Dispatches from the 'Great Marmite Shortage' of October 13th 2016

#DeathByMarmite

Happy drummer for World Smile Day!

Introducing Monsieur Mains de Merde!

Yesterday whilst wrestling with a particularly tricky piece of drawing which refused to turn out right, I'm convinced I was visited once again by my illustrational alter-ego & nemesis Monsieur Mains de Merde.

Fresh from an alternate dimension of 'crummy drawing' he occasionally* takes over & magically gives me a dubious fictional character based excuse for my own ineptitude.

*To some of my detractors & anyone else who's rejected / ignored my work I realise this may seem to be more than 'occasional' visitations, but as this is my blog, devoted to plugging my work let's draw a veil over them

Brian Blessed with wings, playing the drums!

I drew this while frothing at the mouth in response to ANOTHER depressing news article about residential property developers attempting to close down venues / clubs etc. which have operated for years due to noise, this time affecting the Curzon cinema in Mayfair.

My radical plan is next time property developers build flats next to long established clubs / cinemas & complain about noise, I propose crowdfunding & installing a continuous hologram of Brian Blessed with wings playing a f*** off drum kit!

In the words of Withnail - "Liven you stiffs up a bit!"

Adobe Software Update

Note to self, never upgrade your copy of Photoshop when you're in the middle of a job...

Happy 50th Birthday Star Trek!

In memory of all those hapless red-shirts x

Drank The Ink Water Again...

The perils of confusing your water vessels whilst drawing (illustrator problems)

'Never Drive a Car When You're Dead'

(sage advice from Mr Tom Waits' 'Telephone Call From Istanbul' from Frank's Wild Years )

Some sketches from Festival Number 6

A few sketches from Festival Number 6 including a man who seems to have ELO's stylist from 1978 & the security man with the BEST expression ever!

Collective nouns...

The collective noun for cats is a 'clump' surely...?*


*Ok, ok, the correct term is a 'clowder', happy now?

Ill-Conceived Comic Franchises #1

During this hot weather this seemed rather are (are you watching Marvel & DC?)

Captain Hyperbole!

Can't anyone just 'like' something any more? Captain Hyperbole to the rescue "because everything can't be AMAZING"

Postcard from an English summer

Happy holidays! (& please practice 'safe sun'!)

Intergalactic Rock Star Monster!

I drew this intergalactic rock star monster (with a bit of a Bowie penchant) especially for the lovely folk at the Discover Children's Story Centre to hang on the wall as part of a collection of portraits by different illustrators to coincide with their recent refurbishment & relaunch.
I was first  involved with Discover back in 2012, designing their Superheroes exhibition & am always so impressed by the place & with the dedication & love the whole team put into it. It's a brilliant place to visit!

‎National Book Lovers Day‬!

Celebrate #‎NationalBookLoversDay‬! by treating yourself to an extra pair of eyes for even MORE book-y goodness! 

International Cat Day meets Afternoon Tea Week

Yep, there's days & weeks for everything, but these two are both things I'm fond of!  : )

Digital Detox

Drawn in response to various articles in the media about an Ofcom report about the time people spend on the internet (ironically read online) I'd write more but I need to go & troll on Twitter now...

August, dinosaurs & ice cream

Dinosaurs AND ice cream!?!? What a combo! The August 2016 page for my agents Arena Illustration 

Tigers in lipstick

Well, when National Lipstick Day collides with International Tiger Day what's a guy going to do?
(many thanks to my lovely friend Alicia for suggesting this!)

Pigs in hot weather

I was rather delighted by a story in the paper about pigs being given ice lollies & having sun block rubbed into their ears during the recent hot weather.

Goths in hot weather...

In this hot weather, think about the goths & maybe leave a saucer of cider & blackcurrant out?

Johnny Danger - Spyborg

I recently completed the cover for the 3rd Johnny Danger book 'Spy Borg' written by Peter Millett published by Penguin Books. (Any excuse to draw big robots is a 'very good thing' in my book!)
It's available for pre-order in Australia here 

"Unexpected item in bagging area"

Sniffer dogs, cheese, sausages & class A drugs.

This article was begging to be illustrated (no pun intended) It's from an article in The Daily Telegraph headlined ‘Manchester Airport Sniffer Dogs Find Cheese & Sausages - But No Class A Drugs’ in which they found the sniffer dogs were more interested in cheese & sausages than cocaine et al. Now, at this juncture I'm tempted to interject 'who'd have thought?' but I feel resorting to low sarcasm for comic effect is below me. 
You can read the article here

Filth Tray™

#WorldChocolateDay - save that old 'not the coffee cream'* argument by choosing Filth Tray™ - "all of them horrors!"

*Psst! I actually like the coffee cream & the orange cream but I'm a bit funny like that...

Cat burglar (plus dog)

Another illustration for 'Burglar Trade Secrets' from Which? magazine (apparently dogs & cameras aren't too popular with the burglar community - let alone dogs WITH cameras!)

See previous 'burglar' post

#curseborisjohnson

My contribution to the rather amusing #curseborisjohnson tag on Twitter

Fat Batman With Balloons

After a rather bleak confusing week I thought I'd draw a fat Batman with some balloons to cheer you all up!

Cat burglar

Cat burglar for an article in Which? magazine called 'Burglar Trade Secrets' detailing the top five items burglars are most interested in stealing.

In, out, shake it all about!

In a week of vicious political divisions let's all remember we're all BRITISH! In that spirit, here's a picture of some people tutting in a passive aggressive manner up to their waists in shit & mud at Glastonbury.

United Kingdom of UKIP?

I drew this in response to an article by Marina Hyde in The Guardian. The absolute nonsense & outright lies involved in the both sides of the EU Referendum have been pretty lousy throughout but I find Nigel Farage & his pandering to lowest common denominator racism & his 'ordinary bloke' schtick particularly odious

Read the article here

Vacuum cleaner chaos!

Illustration for an article in Which? magazine about vacuum cleaner tests

A dalek, a feline Bond, & a fat Captain America...

I drew this in response to an article called 'Fandom is Broken' by Devin Faraci dealing with fans' sometimes obsessive & aggressive proprietorial stance with the characters / stories they purport to love. (& a great excuse to draw a dalek & a fat Captain America into the bargain of course!)

Happy Superhero Day!

Yes! There is such a thing!

(This is a clip from my film X&Y from a few years back - you can see it in its full glory here!)

Dragon eating sandwich in bath

I was alerted to the fact it was British Sandwich Week (it's true, look here!) this week & this fella popped into my head & onto my paper.

NB As a cautionary tale, sandwiches & hot soapy water don't go together very well from bitter (& soapy) personal experience. Due to the ongoing horror of '70s school dinners, the 6 year old me begged my long suffering mum to allow me to take sandwiches to school instead. One day, whilst washing my hands I  somehow managed to drop them into the sink, whereupon one of the more peculiarly sadistic dinner ladies insisted I eat them, thinking it was a ploy to avoid eating my dinner. Mmmm hot wet soapy corned beef! (not sure it'll ever catch on!)

One that got away...

Rejected cover for a recent project (boo!) Some things are never meant to happen, often one party has a very specific idea of what they want but can't always articulate it which makes an illustrator's job harder. Equally, sometimes it's the wrong illustrator for the job which I think was the case for this one. Pity, I LOVE a dinosaur!

For those about to rock...we salute you

Happy birthday your Majesty!

Yep, Iggy Pop's 69 today!

Monster on budget shopping trip

In between doing monster-y things it's *always* good to grab a bargain, maybe a talking ice cream in this case?

You don't believe in such a thing?

You cynic, you!

...& the Devil in a black dress watches over... (part 2)

I've been in a very Devil-y mood recently...
(apologies to The Sisters of Mercy)