Inexorable Slow Death of a Takeaway

Every time I pass this particular place on Berwick Street I feel like I'm watching the rather tragic inexorable slow death of a takeaway, in the knowledge that the previous occupants of the premises (hotdogs, sushi, mexican etc.) have all lasted around 6 months.
First of all they had installed a man on the door offering 'free meat' to passers by & recently a rather forlorn handwritten sign appeared, trumpeting the fact that they use 'a frying pan & NOT a microwave' to make breakfast but it still seems to remain empty.
I'm in the firm belief that certain buildings & retail premises are cursed, with the various occupants doomed to failure. Am wishing them well...

Lopsided copper

There's a copper with one very large ear on the beat around Soho

Happy People by Das Fluff

Ok, it's not illustration or animation but I make exquisite guitar noise with Das Flüff & wave megaphones around in a dangerous manner & thought you might want to hear this too
http://www.dasfluff.com

The Guardian - Michael Holden's All Ears 19th February

After playing with several Gypsy/carpark/well-known-cartoon-character-with-explicit drug-reference combinations I figured this illustratory* route would leave me less on the road to future legal action.
On the other hand the consumption of the kind of beer you only get in gold & black cans on public transport slightly appeals to me but purely for the fact of pissing Boris Johnson off. Me? Childish? You bet!
(I'll shut up, you can read the article here)

(Article by Michael Holden)
Having failed to visibly outrage anyone by drinking lager on the tube, the four young men sat opposite me seemed anxious to raise the stakes by talking openly about cannabis. First, though, they had a more immediate problem – one born of their initial transgression.

Man 1 (distressed) "I need a piss."

Man 2 "This isn't our stop!"

Man 1 (leaving the carriage) "I can't hold on. I'll meet you there."

Man 2 "What's up with him? He's only had, like, one pint."

Man 3 (looking at his can of lager) "I swam through my brother's sick on holiday. I thought it was coral at first – it was all in my goggles and shit. This was on the Great Barrier Reef. It's a sick country, Australia."

Man 4 "Fuck Australia!"

Man 2 (holding a bit of paper) "Make the roach nice, that was one of the first things I learned about smoking."

Man 4 "What's that?"

Man 2 (rolling it up) "It's my bus ticket, keep the white bit on the outside, you have to twist it. That way you get feedback."

Man 3 "Back in the day I used to think I was the don. I used to get bare stoned and just watch The Simpsons. Nobody knew. I was 13."

There was no reaction to this, so he upped the ante.

Man 3 "That was before I got expelled."

Man 4 "Do you wanna get off and fight?"

Man 3 "I fight Gypsies in car parks – like on that show."

Man 4 "Downgrade your status!"

With that they were off, checking as they went to see if anyone had noticed them.

The Guardian - Michael Holden's All Ears 12th February

Meh! Crappy illustration - what can I say - definitely an off day...

(article by Michael Holden)
Late one Saturday afternoon in a pub deserted save for myself, two pool players and the bar staff, who were watching Catchphrase on the TV, a man walked in looking anxious.

Man "I don't want to put you out, but can you stick the football on?"

The staff simultaneously turned forlorn, as though this would constitute a disaster.

Man (not quite believing what was happening) "What, you're actually watching this?"

Barman (sadly) "What match was it you wanted?"

Man "Eh?"

Barman (holding out his iPhone) "What score did you want? I can get it on my phone."

Man "It's the FA Cup, I want to watch the scores come in, for all the games."

Barman "Oh."

Man (rightly miffed) "I'd like to sit down and pay you the best part of four quid for a pint, while you – who are paid to be here – turn over the television which you, or whoever runs this pub, pays thousands of pounds a year to show live football on. It doesn't seem to me to be a lot to ask."

Barman (sort of standing up) "Well …"

Man (snapping) "Fucking Catchphrase … it hasn't been on for 10 years. Or is this a classic episode? One of the greats. 'Say what you see.' I'll say what I see: you lot in here, taking the piss."

Barman (relenting) "I'll turn it over."

Man (not having it and walking away) "No, you stay where you are. I'll go somewhere where it's not a problem. It's places like this that give drinking a bad name."

I looked around me, and he was right.

Bass monkey...

...that's all, nothing to see here - move along.

Rail Replacement Bus Service

Rainy grey Sunday in Hastings - am confronted with the four most chilling words in the English language 'Rail Replacement Bus Service' - the only people on the streets in St Leonards are a horde of dog-faced kids pointing at buses