Saturday, 4 September 2010
The Guardian - Michael Holden's All Ears 4th September
Reverse Santa...see what I did there? Not my cleverest one I'm afraid! (faintly odd drawing Santa outfit in August while preparing for Carnival too)
(Article by Michael Holden)
In a coffee shop on Saturday, two men were catching up on what they'd been up to during the week. The question of their attendance at the party of a mutual friend came to dominate the agenda.
Man 1 "What was your excuse?"
Man 2 (smiling, untouchable) "I was in Germany."
Man 1 (envious) "Right."
Man 2 "You survived then?"
Man 1 "Well, I bailed out early. With a crowd like that you know what you're in for. It's terrifying, really. Blokes who've been at it for over 30 years, some of them with their sons now – who look just as mental …"
Man 2 "How was the food?"
Man 1 "Shit, as always. But they took the money off you at the door. I tried to get as much of it down as I could to get my money's worth. And then later on the drugs are kicking in and no one's interested. Piles of it just sitting there."
Man 2 "What did you get him?"
Man 1 "Burned a CD."
Man 2 "And what did he make of that?"
Man 1 "Couldn't tell – he did the old reverse Santa."
Man 2 "What's that?"
Man 1 "You bring someone a present, they don't look at it and just chuck it in a sack and fuck off at the end of the evening."
Man 2 "I hate that!"
Man 1 "Me too, but then, what can you do?"
Man 2 "And that's the reverse Santa?"
Man 1 "That's what I call it."
Man 2 "Do you mind if I start using that?"
Man 1 "No, feel free. Take it, say nothing and fuck off with it. It's what anyone else would do." •