Saturday, 6 June 2009
Guardian All Ears 6th June
Apologies for rather crass scouse stereotype this week - sometimes one is persuaded into slipping into visual cliché (no apologies for HP sauce though - it RULES!)
(article by Michael Holden)
I was having a cup of tea in a café at the end of the football season. Apart from a young couple talking at the table behind me, no one else was there. The young man seemed a bit agitated, the Woman was trying to keep things bright and cheerful, which only seemed to annoy him more.
Man : (reading from the sports section of the Daily Mirror) Here y'are, look at this - Liverpool only lost two games throughout the season and they STILL didn't win the title. That's how tight it is now.
Woman : (sounding like she meant it) Only lost twice? Wow!
Man : (tapping the paper emphatically in indication of something) yeah, but look - draw, draw, draw, draw. That was where it all went tits up.
Woman : Oh right. I see.
Man : (complacent) stats dont lie. Look at this - Gareth Bale, made 23 starts for Spurs - lost everyone of them. Never been on the winning side.
Woman : Why doesn't he join another team?
Man : Well it's not the team, is it? It's not the team that's the problem, is it? It's him, obviously.
Woman : Is he rubbish?
Man : Well, what do you think?
He waited, as though to allow her time to absorb the full magnitude of what he thought he was saying.
Man : It's not as simple as that, anyway.
Woman : Is football finished now then?
Man : Yeah. well, until August.
Woman : And then it all starts again?
Man (annoyed that things were not as esoteric as he might have liked) : It's a simple thing made complicated.
I sneaked a glance as I left - he'd flung the paper onto the table and she'd picked it up. He was staring out of the window, She was looking at the TV pages.