It's Thursday! Jump around in your pants!

It's Thursday, the sun's out, it's probably the only sensible thing to do. Tell your boss 'Steve said it'd be fine'* grab a glass of something cold & head out there!

*NB 'fine' can be a somewhat moveable feast

When cocktails talk back

Monster Facts #8

Monster Fact: Monster breath is terrible. Many beautiful would-be monster relationships are de-railed early on by halitosis*.

(*See also monster diets)

Monster Facts #7

Monster fact: Up to 95% of domestic 'lost sock' incidents are the result of monster activity

Monster Facts #6

Monster Fact: Monsters love ice cream, but mainly when it's somebody else's ice cream.

See also monster diets

Monster Facts #5

Monster Fact: The dark is composed of at least 70% monsters (& at least 10% horrible creepy crawlies) - very much like the percentage of cocoa solids in posh chocolate but much SCARIER!

Monster Facts #4

Monster Fact: You know when people say "they won't hurt you they're just being friendly"? * or, "they're more scared of you than you are of them"?*

These are abject BIG FAT LIES. Run away now!

(*see also big vicious dogs with dumb owners)

(*see also spiders)