How a Universal studios monster seaside trip might have looked
Monday, 8 March 2010
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Guardian - All Ears 6th March
Flying V's, neo Weller haircuts & a little peak at the Gallagher rhyming dictionary
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/mar/06/michael-holden-all-ears
(Article by Michael Holden)
I walked into a pub the other day, where two grown men were arguing at the bar about which one of them might – in theory – have been the better musician, and loitered on the edge of their spat, feeling calm by comparison, as their antagonism flowed.
Man 1 (exasperated) "You've never even heard us play."
Man 2 (malign, mischievous) "But I know you're shite."
Man 1 "How would you know?"
Man 2 "I just know. I can see you in your room now, writing all fucking lyrics and whatnot."
Man1 "What do you know about my lyrics?"
Man 2 "I know they'll be shite."
Man 1 "You talk about it like you know, but what do you do? Sit in your room and play guitar to no one. You've never even been in a band."
Man 2 "Tell us some of your lyrics."
Man1 "Who's your favourite guitarist?"
Man 2 "Whose yours?"
Man 1 "Jeff Beck. You're not gonna tell me Jeff Beck can't play guitar?"
Man 2 (doing sarcastic air guitar motions) "Jeff Beck, man? Did you never see him with that Celtic clasp round his arm? He's lost the plot."
Man 1 "You can't say he can't play because of some … jewellery!"
Man 2 "Tell us some of your lyrics."
Man 1 "I might write a song about you, you twat."
Man 2 "It'd be the best thing you've ever done."
Man 1 "Behave yourself now. People are looking."
Man 2 "Fuck 'em. Tell us some lyrics."
Man 1 "No."
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Monday, 1 March 2010
Duck-y
Just remembered this rather duck-y illustration I did for the Art Book cover competition (rejected, but I quite like the ducks so I thought I'd share it)
I've not had a very good run on winning competitions of any form - I won an 'Anti Religious' cartooning competition under 18s section when I was 12, (prize - £20 book token) a short story competition when I was 13 (prize - paperback copy of '1984') & I got my picture into the 1983 Judge Dredd annual (prize £10) but it's all been a bit barren since then - maybe peaked too early?
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Guardian All Ears
Creepy Shining twins survey the traffic flora & fauna...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/feb/27/michael-holdens-all-ears
(Article by Michael Holden)
Three kids-two girls of around five and boy who might have been seven-were sat on the front upstairs seats of a bus. The girls were sitting together and the boy was next to a man with headphones on, who looked too young and disinterested to be their father, and he wasn’t. When their dad did finally tell them to be quiet he did so from the comparative sonic safety of a seat several rows behind them. Those of us sat in between though were subject to full force of his children’s shrill enquiries.
Girl 1 (loudly) “How does hair grow?”
Boy (with complete confidence)“Hair is like magic.”
Girl 1 “How do people grow?”
Boy “People grow at night. If you go to bed early you will grow tall.”
Girl 2 “How do buses grow?”
Boy “Buses are just like buses. They don’t’ grow.”
Girls (in unison, having sensed an opportunity) “How do traffic
lights grow?”
Boy (playing into their hands) “Traffic lights don’t grow.”
Girls (gaining momentum now, and growing sinister-like the twins in
The Shining) “How do taxis grow?”
Boy (banging his head on the seat with each syllable, frustrated with the game which he had partly created) “Taxis-don’t-grow!
Girl 1 “How do people die?”
Girl 2 (straight afterwards) “Why do people have red hair?”
Father (as though having his children unlock two of the great mysteries of existence before a captive audience might be more than the universe could bear.) “That’s enough kids. Shut up now.” •
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Monday, 22 February 2010
Imaginary medical conditions #2
This sketch got incorporated into the illustration for The Economist in the previous post (Economical tigers - http://stevemaystuff.blogspot.com/2010/02/economical-tigers.html) but is actually illustrating the debilitating effects of 'Brigadier's Syndrome' on a child -
symptoms include -
excessive bellowing, theatrical growth of facial hair, and an alarming affinity for gin & guns.
(Soft toys are liable to be shot, stuffed & mounted.)
(You have been warned!)
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