Saturday, 1 November 2008
Guardian All Ears 1st November
I figured the Guardian audience might pick up on the Hogarth steals in the background (see article) while the ironic metal t-shirt is just a personal obsession at the moment - as are alarmingly low slung jeans on men who are 'old enough to know better'
(I realise I probably fit into that demographic but my trouserage is generally less ill informed)
(Article by Micheal Holden)
Queuing for an art exhibition I was distracted from the disparity between my expectations of what I was waiting to see and the tedium of the wait itself by the men behind me whose conversation seemed calculated to impress what they must have assumed was a learned audience.
Man 1 “You could go and see an original Hogarth, but I mean really, what are you looking at, it’s a print. The guy was an engraver.”
Man 2 “He couldn’t trust his printers apparently.”
Man 1 (anxious to display affinity with another subject) “Hmm…did you hear about the recent research on pharmaceutical copyrights? They told half the sample matrix they were taking branded American drugs and the other half they were using third world copies. Everyone reported better results with the American one, but of course, they were all placebos!”
Man 2 (not to be outdone) “What about Formula One? They say they’re cutting down on their emissions, but, think about it, they actually (+I)fly(-I) cars around the world!”
Man 1 (looking at sign on the gallery wall) “How many memberships do you think they need to sell to break even?”
Man 2 (looking at the queue) “I’m surprise they don’t have automatic barriers here”
Man 1 (all knowing) “Well they can create more problems than they solve.”
Man 2 (annoyed that he had lost his friend’s full attention) “What are you doing?”
Man 1 “Sending a text to Zoe. I’m being self deprecating. How do you spell zeitgeist?”
Man 2 (theatrically appalled) “I’d have thought (+I)you((-I) of all people would have known (+I)that(-I).