Monster Fact: Monsters are prone to growing alarmingly & therefore rarely wear clothes.  If you meet a clothed monster it's liable ...

  Monster Fact: Vegetarianism is extremely rare in monsters. Their favourite food is invariably YOU. #MonsterFacts

  Monster Fact : Monsters do not receive mandatory holiday pay & rarely take time off - it is considered wise not to disturb them when ...

Monster negotiation is always best attempted AFTER lunchtime! (preferably with SWAT team back up) See also Monster Facts #03

Monster fact: Most nocturnal chocolate eating is down to monsters - but fret not, they NEVER touch the orange creams* *insert any other ...

That knocking sound in the wardrobe? That'll be the monster hiding in there with his carrier bag full of wire coat hangers (you always...

Monsters don't generally let the 'this is extremely uncomfortable' factor get in the way of a good hiding place. More Monster ...

Monster Fact: THAT'S what happens when you fiddle with your belly button kids! (where the hell did you think tentacled beasties lived ...

Monster Facts - Even monsters have to do their laundry but are often less than happy if anybody sees them doing it - usually best to leave...

Monster Fact: Investing in a good strong monster-proof lock on your front door is a worthy, but ultimately  futile gesture due to monsters...

Monster Fact : Monsters do not receive mandatory holiday pay & rarely take time off - it is considered wise not to disturb them when t...

Monster fact : Very BIG monsters can fit through very SMALL holes

Monster Fact: Monster breath is terrible. Many beautiful would-be monster relationships are de-railed early on by halitosis*. (*See also...

Monster fact: Up to 95% of domestic 'lost sock' incidents are the result of monster activity

Monster Fact: Monsters love ice cream, but mainly when it's somebody else's ice cream. See also monster diets

Monster Fact: The dark is composed of at least 70% monsters (& at least 10% horrible creepy crawlies) - very much like the percentage ...

Monster Fact: You know when people say "they won't hurt you they're just being friendly"? * or, "they're more s...

Monster fact : Vegetarianism is EXTREMELY uncommon. Their favourite dinner is invariably YOU! (yeah, yeah, wear the monster deflective tof...

Yep, sorry to break it to you kids, I'm not making this up... Sleep tight huh? x

Monster fact : Bloodthirsty monsters always have Wednesdays off to catch up on laundry / e-mails etc. Here is a candid pen & ink pic...