Monday, 27 September 2010
Saturday, 25 September 2010
I'm showing a couple of pieces of work as part of this group exhibition at the Graffik Gallery 284 Portobello Road, London from 4th - 6th October
If you're interested in coming e-mail email@example.com for entry
More details on the Facebook page here
as they say...It's all done with computers these days, I just press a button then f*** off for a massage & a cocktail usually...
(Article by Michael Holden)
It was All Ears' good fortune to be in New York last week, feeding bread into a rotary toaster at a breakfast buffet, when two young lions of the leisure industry – all shirts and laptops – joined the queue behind me.
Man 1 (clearly in awe of his subject) "We have quarterly meetings, and he's nothing but questions."
Man 2 (of the same opinion) "That's why these guys are who they are. He was an account manager at Morgan Stanley. They see things we don't see."
Man 1 "He's way down in the weeds. We were meeting and he starts asking how the chambermaids know when the room is checked out."
Man 2 "Shit!"
Man 1 "That's what I'm talking about. He doesn't have to worry about that."
Man 2 "But he does!"
Man 1 "Exactly. These guys are spinning stuff around and we don't even feel the motion."
Man 2 (rightly puzzled) What do you mean?"
Man 1 "They're way out there."
Man 2 (like that helped) "Right."
Man 1 "You can't learn that shit. It's instinctive."
Man 2 "The success instinct."
Man 1 "Damn right."
Man 2 "So what did you say?"
Man 2 "About the chambermaids."
Man 1 "Oh right. Well how the fuck would I know? I said I'd get back to him."
Man 2 "So how do they know?"
Man 1 "I don't know. I haven't asked yet."
Man 2 "Don't they just knock on the door, or phone the desk?"
Man 1 "No. I'm guessing there's computers involved."
Friday, 24 September 2010
A few of the inside illustrations from the new Boy Zero book 'Attack of the Brain-Dead Breakdancing Zombies' by Peter Millett, published by Faber
Steal your mum's credit card kids & order YOUR copy here...
Just received a copy of the second in the series of Boy Zero books by Peter Millett which I illustrated the cover & the insides
You can score a copy here...
Saturday, 18 September 2010
This week's article kind of made my skin crawl...I hope yours does too kids!
(Article by Michael Holden)
Being a compulsive listener, I try and keep my staring to a minimum as a kind of trade-off, but there are some things you can't take your eyes off, and some of them are talking too. In this case, it was a couple in a cafe: a man in his 50s with cigarette-yellow skin talking to a much younger woman whose pallor seemed mainly makeup.
Man (with sinister smile) "Say, 'Pretty please.'"
Woman (hesitant, and with a heavy accent) "Pretty please."
Man (squeezing her thigh) "Very good! You best hurry up or I'll be lonely."
Woman (halting again) "I try."
Man "I'll be quick. I do everything quickly. I used to run quickly. But now I need a new knee."
Woman "I have an English lesson."
Man "I do a special lesson. Very intensive, one to one. Over in the pub. We drink, we kiss. I teach you something, we have another glass of wine.
Woman (not visibly displeased by this proposal) "Perhaps."
Man "How far away from Prague do you live, is there a motorway?"
Man (miming driving) "A fast road?"
She still didn't understand.
Woman "I must see Peter."
Woman "Peter is problem?"
Man "No. I said I don't mind. Go now and come back quickly, or I shall be very sad. You understand?"
He mimed wiping tears away by way of illustration.
Woman (smiling) "Don't be sad."
She got up, left, and when I looked away I realised – the only one unhappy with the situation was probably me.