The devil in the black dress cometh...

World Goth Day 2017

On #WorldGothDay please spare a thought for the unfortunate teenage goths on enforced family beach holidays.

Brexit Bill!

Is it me or does Brexit Bill sound like the name for the most rubbish pirate ever? 

 Or a fairly useless cowboy...?

Or perhaps a rather hapless cockney safe cracker?

Storm Doris!

It's gonna get windy...get your cans of Cossack™ out for that wayward combover boys!

(Surely 'Storm Doris' is the final nail in the coffin of EVER letting the public name ANYTHING?!?)

Superdad's Day Off (sneak preview)

Shhhhh! Here's a sneak preview of Superdad's Day Off by the very funny Phil Earle with lots of nice colour pictures by me. It's published by Barrington Stoke on the 15th April & you can pre-order it here.
I'll write & post more once it's published. I've got previous form with superheroes so was BIG fun to illustrate!

Pet Defenders published TODAY!

Pet Defenders - Attack of the Alien Dung written by the very funny Gareth P Jones with illustrations by me is published today (9th February) by Stripes. It's the first in a brand new series in which an unlikely pairing of pets Mitzy & Biskit protect Earth from an assortment of invading aliens. 

'The planet is under attack and it’s up to Pet Defenders, Mitzy the cat and Biskit the dog, to save the world but first they are going to have to stop fighting like cat and dog long enough to do it! Secret agent Biskit is really not happy that his new partner Mitzy is a cat – everyone knows that the two don’t mix. But saving the Earth must come first when the planet is being invaded.' 


In the words of the author "It's basically Men in Black meets Dogs & Cats meets Dempsey & Makepeace with a giant space beetle made out of cowpats." which was obviously music to my ears when it came to illustrating it, giving me the chance to draw lots animals & aliens which are some of my favourite things (& drawing poo is ALWAYS fun, right kids?)

You can buy it here or if you're lucky enough to have a good local book shop go & say hello to them & buy one there. There's also a theme tune performed by the great Mr Jones which you can listen to here!

Pet Defenders - Attack of the Alien Dung!

I just received my copy of the first in the series of the Pet Defenders books - 'Attack of the Alien Dung' written by the very funny Gareth P Jones & published by Stripes. It's out on the 9th February so will share more info & pictures then. It's been a lot of fun to illustrate & I've just finished working on book 2 so plenty more to come, I also get a PROPER credit which is very welcome! 

Person of the Year

Time magazine have just voted Donald Trump as 'Person of the Year' I think Mr G. Reaper was robbed!

Meat fiver

Further to the  #fivepoundnote-gate scandal (as nobody has called it yet) on other (made up) planets the currency is made from pure MEAT!

Muppet horror dream!

My dream last night involved myself (in puppet form) & a muppet with no eyes, attempting to avoid capture from a malevolent Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street. Odd, & strangely scary

(answers on a postcard to the usual address...)

Why toilet paper never caught on in the Cretaceous era...

For World Toilet Day...

Devil horns!

Devil, appreciating the joys of LOUD MUSIC with a devil horns salute!

RIP Leonard Cohen

Bird on a wire

(© 'extremely-literal-illustrative-tributes.com' )

RIP Leonard Cohen

President Trump

“When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” 

...I'm just leaving this here, drawn swiftly in a moment of extreme distaste yesterday morning.

Trump Fish!

A 'bottom feeder' if ever I saw one!

Happy drummer for World Smile Day!

Introducing Monsieur Mains de Merde!

Yesterday whilst wrestling with a particularly tricky piece of drawing which refused to turn out right, I'm convinced I was visited once again by my illustrational alter-ego & nemesis Monsieur Mains de Merde.

Fresh from an alternate dimension of 'crummy drawing' he occasionally* takes over & magically gives me a dubious fictional character based excuse for my own ineptitude.

*To some of my detractors & anyone else who's rejected / ignored my work I realise this may seem to be more than 'occasional' visitations, but as this is my blog, devoted to plugging my work let's draw a veil over them

Brian Blessed with wings, playing the drums!

I drew this while frothing at the mouth in response to ANOTHER depressing news article about residential property developers attempting to close down venues / clubs etc. which have operated for years due to noise, this time affecting the Curzon cinema in Mayfair.

My radical plan is next time property developers build flats next to long established clubs / cinemas & complain about noise, I propose crowdfunding & installing a continuous hologram of Brian Blessed with wings playing a f*** off drum kit!

In the words of Withnail - "Liven you stiffs up a bit!"

Adobe Software Update

Note to self, never upgrade your copy of Photoshop when you're in the middle of a job...

Happy 50th Birthday Star Trek!

In memory of all those hapless red-shirts x