The view from my pub table - I'm always slightly peturbed by clothes on dogs*
(*see 'Things I Hate')
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Monday 10 January 2011
Thursday 25 November 2010
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Saturday 13 February 2010
Guardian All Ears 13th February
Spot the references...I couldn't resist the pool playing dogs (which don't show up at all in my copy of the paper - ho hum)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/feb/13/all-ears-the-guide
(Article by Michael Holden)
The world is full of strange cycles. Go into a pub to use the toilet,
buy a pint for the sake of protocol and pretty soon you’re back in the
toilet again. I was in one of these loops when I saw that the pub
itself was fixed in a weird judgemental cycle of its own. Two people
were looking at a laptop and pointing out things they didn’t approve
of on the Internet, themselves watched by two workmen who clearly had
no time for them, while next to me two more men talked disapprovingly
about popular art as I listened disapprovingly to them.
Man 1: “Did you see that documentary on the BBC the other night? It
was about that guy, Kit Williams, he did like photo-realism, it was
very popular in the 80’s –horrible pictures-he made a gold rabbit?”
Man 2 (decisively-and in no way confused by the fact that the
aforementioned artist’s most famous work was actually a hare) “No”
Man 1 (pleading) “You must remember the rabbit? Everyone was looking for it.”
Man 2 “I don’t recall. There was another thing though, something to do
with following letters of the alphabet. If you figured out the
sequence you got twenty grand or something. It wasn’t long ago.”
Man 1 “This was the 80’s. He was on Wogan.”
Man 2 “I don’t know him.”
Man 1 “It was a good documentary. But the thing with that stuff is
it’s all about the craft, ‘oh, it really looks like him.’ As if that’s
the most important thing!”
Man 2 “Like that Jack Vettriano. He knows what people who don’t like
art like. They like story.”
Man 1 (looking blankly afraid, as though suddenly alert to all his own
frustrations) “He makes millions.”
Man 2 (looking the same) “Yeah.”
Monday 1 February 2010
whore's, dog's & sausage's
The 'whore's' quote was from an image at the Museum of Everything in Chalk Farm, the sausage references are too complicated to explain, although I definitely wish animals would stick to their alloted food clichés - dogs = sausages, bears = honey, elephants = buns etc. Would make everything sooo much simpler for everyone
(PS the misused apostrophes are deliberate dummy!)
Thursday 14 January 2010
Tuesday 10 November 2009
Monday 9 November 2009
Saturday 20 June 2009
Guardian All Ears 20th June
Re. tiny dog phenomenon...they seem to have a bit of a thing for tiny dogs in New York but they usually seem to be owned by muscley gay gym bunnies (on Canal Street at least!)
(article by Michael Rosen)
I feel the tiny dog phenomenon to be a puzzling business, but when one of these benighted freaks starts attacking things several times its size I find their mad tenacity a joy to behold. It was precisely such a display of dwarf-dog fury that led to the following exchange between a pair of staggering drunks who had made the mistake of trying to caress one of these hand-held heartbeats and come of second best.
Woman: (getting as angry as you can without spilling your drink) “The fucker bit me!”
Man: (foolishly opting for admonishment over sympathy) “You should never have touched it. They’re not right”
Woman: (detonating) “He said it were alright!”
Man: (voice thick with self-made wisdom) “You can’t trust folk with these dogs. They’ll say ‘owt.”
Woman: “It started off licking me hand. Then it went for me. You heard it.”
Man: “Ask someone what their dog’s like and they’ll tell you it’s great, even while it’s got its jaws on you, they’ll be telling you it’s trying to make friends.”
Woman: (looking for signs of injury to her hand and finding nothing that might merit litigation) “Little bastard.”
Man: (making a huge but somehow valid leap of comparative reason) “It’s like the Krays. Their mum always said they was alright. Different story when they’re breaking your fuckin’ legs with a hammer.”
Woman: “What you on about, hammers?”
Man: “Dogs!”
Woman: (staring at her hand again) “Little bastard.”
Man: “Aye.”
Thursday 5 February 2009
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